Unfaithful
by YamCakes
Summary: Liara makes a mistake cheating on Shepard with Specialist Traynor. The Commander is furious and eventually finds herself in Afterlife. Contains futa, smut, and awkward situations.
1. Bullshit

"YOU CHEATING, FUCKING WHORE!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"BULLSHIT!" Shepard grabbed Liara by the throat, squeezing hard enough to turn her into another, unnatural shade of blue for an asari. Liara tried to summon her biotics, though she couldn't gather enough strength to do so. She couldn't breathe and wondered if Shepard would actually kill her.

But before Liara could pass out due to lack of oxygen, Shepard released her grip. Liara fell to her knees, gasping for breath.

"No, not you," Shepard turned to leave Liara's cabin, the door closing behind her.

The asari finally regained her strength and stood up, only to fall back into her chair. She knew Shepard would go for Traynor, possibly kill her, and it would be all her fault. She sighed, reflecting on the mistake she committed two days ago…

_Liara was in her cabin, on the bed, sobbing. She had gotten into an argument with Shepard, although she couldn't remember why. _

_Her door suddenly opened, Specialist Traynor standing there, smiling. _

"_May I come in?" she asked quietly._

_The asari simply nodded as Traynor walked in, the door closing behind her. She sat next to Liara on her huge mattress. "Something wrong?"_

"_Shepard," is all she could say. _

"_What about her?" Traynor knew they were close and they usually got along fairly well. The fact that the Commander made her cry surprised her._

"_I-I… She…" Liara stammered._

_The Specialist took Liara's chin and gently turned her head to face her. "It's alright. I could make the pain go away." _

_Before Liara could reply to that, Traynor pulled her lips to meet hers. They were warm and soft and the kiss was passionate, unlike Shepard's kisses in every way. Traynor began to unbuckle her belt while Liara attempted to unfasten her collar. The two quickly undressed. Liara reached Traynor's underwear... her very large underwear. She abruptly stopped the kiss._

_"Granny panties?"_

_Traynor smiled sheepishly._

_Liara shrugged her shoulders and they continued._

_They woke up in a tangle of brown and blue. A thought occured to Liara. She had cheated on Shepard. And she was bound to find out about this. Although the commander usually had an even temper, she had told Liara that she had a long history of tragic relationships, mostly ending because her partners had found someone else._

While Liara was deep in thought, Traynor let out a loud, high-pitched fart that lasted for five seconds. Liara spun her head around only to find the human fast asleep. After a few moments, the stench had reached her nose and it was so strong her eyes started to water. What made it worse was that Traynor let out more farts until one really loud one woke her up.

"Nngh, that was amazing," she muttered. Traynor saw Liara gagging. "Is there something wrong Liara? Are you... crying?"

"*Cough*, no I just *cough* need some fresh air."


	2. Omega

Shepard docked the Normandy on Omega. She invited Traynor to come with. She hesistantly agreed to accompany Shepard.

If the Citadel had an evil twin, it'd be Omega. Although Aria T'Loak ruled the station with an iron fist, everyone was lawless and abided by their own rules. Shepard liked that. It was definitely her style.

She and Traynor took a taxi and rented an apartment in the downtown area.

Traynor became more and more anxious, as if she shouldn't have gone on with this. '_Does she know about me and Liara?' _she thought. _'No, she couldn't have, that was just one night and it has stayed just between the two of us.' _

Shepard opened the door to the rustic-looking apartment and locked the door behind both of them.

Before Traynor could ask what they were going to do, Shepard seized her by the throat and pinned her to the wall. Fear and panic racked her body as the Commander leaned in to her ear and breathed, very harshly, "_I know what you did."_

The strong hand tightened around her throat, effectively choking her. The Specialist looked into her eyes, trying to gain some sympathy from Shepard. However, she only squeezed harder.

"You're not getting an easy death, you filthy bitch," she hissed, loosening her grip on Traynor.

Shepard took out her omni-blade, bringing it close to her victim's face. Traynor could feel its heat radiating against her, threatening to burn away her flesh. The Commander undid some of the Specialist's uniform buttons, revealing perfect, brown skin. Traynor screamed as Shepard ran the searing-hot blade against her neck, burning the skin to a crisp. She then introduced the blade to her arms, then to her face. She dug it in deeper as she progressed, making Traynor scream at the top of her lungs. Shepard lost herself, enjoying every moment of torture.

After what seemed like eternity, she finally withdrew, leaving the Specialist to writhe on the ground, her scorched marks smoking. She began to sob, but she was quickly silenced by a swift kick to the stomach.

Shepard grabbed her by the head to bring them face to face. "Fuck you," she spat, driving the omni-blade into her abdomen. She watched Traynor's face gasp in shock, twisted the blade inside of her, making her gurgle out copious amounts of blood. Shepard took out the blade and saw Traynor's body fall to the floor again and twitch, then stopped moving.

She smirked and retracted her omni-blade. Thankfully, she was a Spectre, so as long as she avoided law enforcement, she would not have to face any consequences. And considering she was on Omega, that wouldn't be a problem. She could say Traynor got mugged by a group of Batarians and she was unable to save her.

Shepard dragged her body, opened the door, and threw the corpse in an alley. Some starving varren would eventually make it out of a snack. The thought brought joy to the commander.

Shepard shook her head. She isn't usually like this. Sure she got angry at times, although she never enjoyed another's death or suffering. Love worked in mysterious ways.

Was she in love? Sure, she cared for Liara than anyone else she had ever been with, but then again she did almost choke her to death. But what would anyone else do if they had just found out that their beloved had cheated?

"I need a drink," Shepard muttered to herself, and headed to Afterlife.

"'Sup Jane. You look like a mess."

"Yeah, things are… complicated," Shepard sipped more of her drink. She wasn't sure what it was, just that it was blue, glowing, and not strong enough to make her flat-out drunk.

She was sitting at a table next to her twin brother, John.

Not many people knew it, but Jane Shepard had a twin. He was her opposite. Unlike Jane, whose name is known galaxy-wide, John was incredibly secretive, hiding his identity to prevent himself from getting killed. Unlike Jane, he spent his life learning the art of espionage. He was an incredibly talented assassin, much like Thane Krios.

Even Jane didn't know everything about John. She knew he has killed a good many people. She knew he was good at it. And she knew he had an ongoing relationship with Kaidan Alenko. The Major had taken every chance he could every time they were on shore leave to meet up with her brother, often disappearing with him in some rented apartment.

"You need to loosen up," John nudged Jane's shoulder. "You're always in your uniform. Wear some civilian's clothes at least."

"I don't really have that much in my wardrobe at the moment." Shepard really didn't have many options. It was either uniform, some horrid dress, or a ridiculous-looking Spacer outfit.

"Well, at least enjoy yourself. We are in Afterlife, after all," he looked around, his eyes ignoring the asari strippers and focused on the handsome-looking male drell barkeeper.

"Yeah, maybe I should. It's just… Liara…" her voice trailed off. Her beloved Liara had betrayed her. The one person she'd least expect to cheat, but she was just like all the others. Does the scientist even deserve the great, Commander Shepard? Perhaps not…

"Your innocent, sweet, asari girlfriend? I'm surprised she's the one that's turning you into a wreck. What'd she do?"

"She cheated on me with my Comms Specialist. That Traynor-bitch really was just a pathetic replacement for our old Kelly Chambers."

"Kelly Chambers?"

"The old Yeoman. She uh… fed my fish, a few times. Very talented."

"So I've heard," John smiled kindly. Even though his job was to kill people, he had a very warm heart. The few people that knew him knew he was easy to get along with.

"So what's up with you?"

"I have an assignment to assassinate a very important someone. Some human named Kai Leng. Carries around a sword. Heard of him?"

"Nah."

"Ah well, I believe he works for the Illusive Man."

"Good thing you're taking him out, then."

"Yeah. Too bad, though, he looks kinda hot."

Jane laughed. "You're a cocksucking, fudge-packing, faggot."

"And you're a carpetmunching, muff-diving, dyke."

"Commander Shepard," a batarian guard walked over to their table.

"Yes?" Jane Shepard stood up and faced him. They were equal in height. She stared at him, though his face stayed emotionless.

"Aria T'Loak would like to see you," he said.

Jane didn't ask why. If Aria wanted something, she gets it. No questions asked. She nodded and followed the batarian, saying a quick "see you" to John. He winked at her saying "good luck."


	3. Aria T'Loak

A/N: As usual, **futa** warning.

Aria T'Loak was standing near the glass window where she could have a perfect view of her club. Shepard stood about a metre behind her. Aria turned around and sat down on her couch. She beckoned Shepard to sit next to her. They sat in silence for little over a minute.

"Shepard," Aria began. She looked at her with those threatening, ice-blue eyes. "I overheard your conversation…"

"How did you-?"

"I told you. I AM Omega. I see everything, I hear everything, I _know_ everything." She glared at her.

Shepard began to grow uncomfortable. Aria wanted something; she didn't just call her up here for chat. "What do you want?"

Aria smiled an evil, wicked grin. "I want _you_."

"What? I…" the Commander did not expect this. She and Aria were nothing more than frenemies, although she did sneak in a kiss after re-taking Omega. But that didn't mean anything. Shepard was left more confused than anything else afterward. She didn't expect it to escalate to something like this. Aria was full of surprises.

"Aria, you know I have a girlfriend," she said. Although she had already become excited by this… situation.

The pirate queen seemed to get very angry at this. "Who? That pureblooded, cheating asari whore that calls herself Liara? Please, Shepard. She cheated on you with some pathetic human. She doesn't deserve the great Commander Shepard," she stroked Shepard's cheeks with her gloved hand. "You deserve… better."

Before she could reply Aria stood up and walked over to the entrance of her private bedroom, her hips swaying seductively. Shepard eagerly followed.

The bedroom was about as large as Shepard's own cabin on the Normandy. The decorations were incredibly… Spartan-like. She came near the pirate queen, who was standing impatiently near the bed. Aria shoved Shepard so that the back of her knees hit the edge of the mattress, making her sit down.

Aria dropped to her knees and opened Shepard's legs. She unbuttoned her belt and unzipped her zipper. She pulled Shepard's pants and boxers down just above her knees. The sight before her surprised her.

"What... the fuck?"

Shepard noticed Aria's confusion. "Oh, uh... yeah, it's not really common knowledge."

The Asari shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her lips around Shepard's cock. She proved to be quite adept at giving head, sliding her member all the way to the back of her throat. Shepard gripped the back of the Asari's head crests and effectively fucked her mouth. Just as she was about to come, the pirate queen removed herself from her cock. The two quickly undressed and Shepard lay on the bed, waiting for Aria to ready herself. She had her hands behind her head and her erect dick was dripping with pre-cum.

Finally, Aria crawled onto the bed and staddled Shepard's hips. She lowered herself onto her member until it reached all the way to hilt and began sliding up and down. As she finally got used to Shepard's large length inside of her, she quickened her pace while Shepard grabbed her ass cheeks and thrust into her. Shepard, without pulling out, flipped Aria onto her back so that she was on top and pounded into the Asari. Her forceful thrusts were enough to make Aria cry out in pleasure and after a few moments, she cried out her name in climax. Shepard felt close as well and leaned down to bury her face into Aria's shoulder as she came inside of her. Aria felt the hot, sticky cum coat her insides when Shepard collapsed on top of her and almost immediately drifted into sleep.

"Goddammit Commander," she grunted as she shoved Shepard to the other side of the bed.

* * *

Shepard woke up spooning Aria. When she opened her eyes, she nearly went blind when the asari's head crests hit them.

"Fuck," she whispered, trying not to wake Aria.

She tried to recall last night. Even though she wasn't all that drunk, it seemed like a blur. She remembered the sex. Goddamn. That woman had a mouth. Both verbally and… Well, she definitely remembers Aria's oral skills. GODDAMN.

_Liara…_

Wait, she cheated first. This was just her way of getting even.

Shepard got up as soundlessly as possible, getting herself dressed. Before she left, she took one last look at the asari sprawled out on the bed. _She looks so peaceful, _she thought. Shepard left the bedroom and headed out.


	4. Cereal

Liara was restless. She was pacing in her cabin unable to continue her work after what she had just heard.

"By the goddess, she actually did it," she muttered to herself. Liara had heard the news of how Specialist Traynor had been 'mugged by a group of batarians on Omega.' But she knew it wasn't true. Shepard had murdered her in cold blood. They couldn't even find the body so she guessed that Shepard had disposed of the evidence somewhere. _This is all my fault,_ Liara thought. _If I hadn't slept with her she'd still be alive. _

Samantha Traynor had been temporarily replaced by a slightly more experienced comms specialist in order to help against the Reapers and Cerberus. He has proven to be quite precise in his duties. He is well liked by most of the crew, including Shepard.

_How _is_ Shepard? _She hadn't spoken to her since the incident a week she noticed that the Commander had been docking on Omega more often lately during down time. _But why? _Liara pondered. The first time may have been to kill Traynor without getting caught but why would she be going there so often now? Afterlife? Perhaps to talk to her brother, he often went there for drinks. Liara was one of the few people who knew of him. And Kaidan, the Major seemed to be pleased that they docked on Omega more frequently. Shepard couldn't have been hiring asari dancers, could she? No, Garrus or some other friend would've seen and told everyone.

Liara decided to finally speak to her, leaving her room and making her way to the elevator. She felt incredibly nervous for some reason, like when she asked Shepard if they could Join together for the first time before Ilos.

The elevator arrived at the floor of Shepard's cabin. She walked near the door and spoke into the comm system.

"Shepard, are you there? I'd like to speak to you."

Silence for two minutes. Liara started to regret coming here. Before she could leave, the cabin's doors opened and there stood Shepard.

"What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you. About _us," _Liara looked up at Shepard. Her face was marred with scars. More scars than she had seen a week ago, she noticed. She also looked surprisingly… calm. As if she had just been relieved of some stress.

The Commander looked down at her, their eyes locking. They weren't exactly the same height; Shepard was at least six inches taller.

"May I come in?"

"Fine."

Liara walked into the cabin, facing the fish tank. Shepard sat on the edge of her bed.

"It's been a week since we've spoken to each other…" she began. "I want to know where we stand."

"I don't think I could ever forgive you for cheating. But… I still want to make us work."

Liara's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

Shepard stood up and walked next to Liara, her front meeting her back. She wrapped her arms around her waist and they just stood there, in silence. Liara smiled.

"I'm so sorry I did that to you, Shepard. I really shouldn't have-"

"It's ok," she whispered. "Besides, I think I've… evened out the score."

"What?"

"Nothing. Just get your ass in bed and don't keep me waiting."

The asari chuckled. "As you wish, Commander."

* * *

"_Janey!"_

"_What?"_

"_Mommy's not waking up!"_

_Jane stopped watching the television and ran to the kitchen where John was kneeling over their mother's still body._

"_Why she not waking up?"_

"_There're some pills next to her hand I think they put her to sleep!"_

_Jane kneeled down next to her mother. She tried to shake her awake. "Mommy, please wake up, please!"_

_The door suddenly blew open with a large, drunk looking man in his thirties at the entrance._

"_What the fuck is going on here?!"_

_He looked at the dead body._

"_You little shits, did you do this?!" _

"_No daddy!" John squealed._

"_Fuck!" he shouted._

_Jane went to his brother and they held on to each other._

"_You little shits are the reason she's dead! Get out of this fucking house and don't come back!"_

_He grabbed them both by the scruffs of their necks and walked to the door, throwing them outside. He shut the door at them and locked it._

_John begun to cry. "What are we gonna do now, sis?"_

"_Do you think he'll let us back in?"_

"…_no."_

"_We have to get food, or we starve!"_

"_How?"_

"_We have to fight for it."_

"_No Janey, we could just steal it."_

"_We could do both of them."_

"_Ok."_

* * *

Shepard woke up. She looked at the clock. Still too early for breakfast. Too sleepy, too. She went back to sleep.

….

Liara woke next to Shepard, her head resting on the Commander's chest. Last night was great but… there seemed to be something… _off _about it.

When they melded, it was as if Shepard had been holding back some memories. Mental barriers kept Liara from accessing them. _What is she trying to hide from me? _she thought. Perhaps she would ask her later.

She also noticed that Shepard's body was unusually bruised. Scars crisscrossed her back that were definitely not from the Cerberus implants. _They're probably new battle scars, _she assured herself.

Shepard began to stir, sitting up and gazing down towards Liara.

"Hey there," she whispered sleepily.

Liara looked up and smiled. "Commander?"

"Let's get some breakfast."

"Sorry, Shepard, but I have to get back to my broker feeds. I'll just eat in my cabin."

Shepard sighed and got out of bed, getting herself dressed in her usual Alliance uniform. Liara got up as well, getting dressed in her Shadow Broker armor.

Liara was still fastening her collar when Shepard left the cabin to the mess hall.

* * *

"Garrus," Shepard greeted the turian sitting at the breakfast table. His mandibles twitched in acknowledgement. She also greeted Tali, Kaidan, and Joker also sitting there.

She made herself a bowl of some cereal and sat down next to her friends.

"Hey Commander," Joker said with his mouth full of Blast-O's. "What's going on?"

"With me or the war?" she asked.

"Both, I guess."

"Well let's start with the war. I cured the genophage, I made peace between the Geth and Quarians, and we'll be heading to Thessia to find some artifact. I think it'll help that some Cerberus douchebag just got assassinated."

"Who?"

"Some former N7 marine named Kai Leng. He was an assassin until, well, he got assassinated."

"How ironic," Kaidan mumbled. "Whoever killed him must have some BALLS, am I right?"

Shepard shifted in her seat, a little uncomfortable, and coughed.

"So Shepard weren't you going to tell us how things were with you?" Tali asked.

The Commander swallowed a mouthful of cereal before she spoke. "I got a call from my uncle. We talked about some things like… my childhood. And stuff, I guess. I miss him. _So much._"

"I'm sure you do, Shepard. We all miss our families," Tali's mask hid her sad expression.

Shepard munched some more of her cereal. "So Garrus, how 'bout those calibrations?" Everyone lost focus as one of the crew members ran through the deck clutching his backside saying "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!"

"You alright over there?" Joker called.

"I just shit my fucking pants!" he called back. Shepard just shrugged her shoulders and continued eating her cereal.

…


	5. An End, Once and For All

Everything has led to this moment.

Shepard had acquired the Prothean VI, and with the help of her brother, had not had to face too much trouble. Kai Leng would've been quite the formidable opponent. The Citadel was now in orbit of earth. The Illusive Man didn't have the chance to alert the Reapers. Yet, anyway.

But now, Anderson had informed them of their plan to get Hammer a team of soldiers to go to the Citadel and activate the Crucible. Now Shepard just needed to pick out her squad. But not before final a speech, unfortunately. God, she hated speeches.

She cleared her throat and stood before her crew—Kaidan, Garrus, Tali, Javik, EDI, James, Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Kitana, Mileena, and Liara.

"This war has brought us pain and suffering… and loss. But it's also brought us together, as soldiers, allies—friends," she looked to Scorpion and Sub-Zero, "enemies."

"This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand. It's more powerful than any weapon, stronger than any ship. It can't be taken or destroyed.

"One way or another, this war ends today. There will be no second chances, and no room for mistakes. Each of you must be willing to die to win the day. Anything less and you're already dead. Expect no mercy. Show no mercy. You fight or you die."

Her crew cheered, their spirits raised.

"James, EDI, you two are coming with me," Shepard ordered. They nodded in acknowledgment.

Before they could go, Liara rushed to her.

"Shepard, I want to go with you."

"No Liara, I've already chosen my squad."

Liara glared defiantly. "You're not leaving me behind. You're going to rush to that beam and who knows if you'll come back?"

"Liara, if you go with me, you could die, too. And I won't take that chance. Stay here, and that's an order."

"Shepard, I…" a tear ran down her cheek and she looked up to meet the Commander's eyes. "I am yours."

Shepard's face softened and placed a hand to stroke the asari's cheeks. "Look. You mean everything to me, Liara. You always will. Now go."

Another tear. "Get over here!" Scorpion shouted. She retreated back to the crew.

And with that, Shepard set out to the final battle.

…

They were running to the beam.

Alliance soldiers, makos, James and EDI, and Shepard rushing to what will take them to the Citadel to finally end this war once and for all.

They were getting destroyed. Harbinger's beams took out soldiers nearly effortlessly.

Shepard spotted a mako getting blasted. It nearly fell on top of James and EDI until they jumped out of its way. Just when Shepard felt relief, Harbinger's beam made its way to their path. EDI's arm reached out to her before the red energy hit them.

"No!"

They were gone.

Shepard felt a mix of emotions go through her as she continued to run. Anger that James had died and relief that only EDI's body was destroyed—she was still the Normandy. And a sense of accomplishment that she did the right thing to not let Liara come with them.

She came nearer and nearer to the beam, _almost there._

But Harbinger hit her first.

…..

"Who are you?"

"I am the Catalyst."

Shepard was badly wounded, her armor almost completely destroyed. She had reached the Citadel, but at a great cost. The entire Hammer team had been decimated, including Anderson. And now, she was staring at this hologram—an AI?-that looked suspiciously like that child she saw die on Earth. His voice sounded like both hers and her brother's and the little boy.

"I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst."

"No, the Citadel is a part of me."

"I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?"

"Perhaps. I control the Reapers. They are my solution."

"Solution? To what?"

The Catalyst—or whatever it was…starchild? Started walking towards the beam in the middle of the Citadel. Shepard followed.

"Chaos. The created will always rebel against their creators. We have found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order."

"By wiping out organic life?"

"No. We harvest advanced civilisations and leave the younger ones alone. Just as we left your people alive the last time we were here."

_What the hell? You want to prevent synthetics from killing organics by sending synthetics to kill synthetics and organics?_

"But you killed the rest."

"We helped them ascend so they could make way for new life. Storing the old life in Reaper form."

"We'd rather keep our own form."

"No you can't. Without us to stop it, synthetics would destroy all organics. We created this cycle so that never happens.

"This is fucking stupid. You deserve a spanking, child."

"You're not my mother. Anyway... perhaps we were wrong."

Shepard looked at the Catalyst. "What do you mean?"

"I have seen what you've done. United what your species call the Geth and Quarians. Before this cycle, that has never happened. I realize how incredibly foolish it sounds that my solution to preventing synthetics from killing organics is to control synthetics to kill organics every 50,000 years."

_Pretty much, _Shepard thought.

"Perhaps this solution is no longer needed. You have proven that synthetics and organics can indeed unite. And the fact that you, an organic, have made it here proves it even further.

"So I will give you a choice. You can let me continue to assume control of the Reapers and I will no longer give them the task to harvest organic beings, instead to make repairs of what was destroyed. However, if the synthetics become a problem once more, then the cycle will start once again.

"Or you can grant the Reapers free will, destroying the Citadel and quite possibly yourself in the process. You must take into account that they are the most powerful sentient beings in the galaxy and you will not be able to stop whatever it is they desire to do.

"Finally, you can choose to destroy the Reapers, also destroying the Citadel. You will most likely not survive, but the Reaper threat will forever be ended. However, if the synthetics do end up rising up against organics, know that the Reapers will not be there to help you."

Shepard grunted. "Destroying us isn't helping."

The Catalyst didn't respond to that. "Choose."

Shepard started to think. No way in hell was she going to give the Reapers free will. Harbinger as an individual already seems bent on destroying them, controlled or not. So then, to let the Catalyst control or destroy? Letting the Catalyst control seemed good up until it said that if problems arose again, the cycle would start up again. Shepard didn't trust any of the species to prevent that from happening. Hell, the Quarians were so damn stubborn just to make peace with the Geth. Peace won't last forever, too.

Then there was Destroy. It seemed so easy, just walk to the Power Conduit and shoot, it will explode, and somehow destroy all the Reapers. Everyone's counting on her to do that. She'll most likely lose herself, too. Liara will be devastated but this is the only way. One life for the trillions in the galaxy. She heard a voice in her head as she walked to the Conduit with her gun in hand.

_I'm proud of you._

_Anderson. _Shepard was now about ten metres away from the Conduit. A bit far, yes, but she isn't going to deliberately walk into an explosion. She outstretched her arm and began to shoot. Images of Liara flash. Then the rest of her crew. Joker, Kaidan, Garrus. Then her brother and her uncle.

The Conduit explodes and she goes unconscious.


	6. Dreams

Shepard.

That's all Liara could think about right now. Is Shepard still alive? _She must be, _she thought. Shepard promised that she would always come back. And she will.

Liara was on the Normandy when it happened. A wave of red energy chasing the ship as it was in mid-relay jump. They then crashed on this jungle planet. EDI reported that the energy swept across the galaxy and destroyed the Reapers in its path. _Thank the goddess, she's done it._ Now Liara must hope against hope that Shepard survived. She nearly broke down when she heard that there were no survivors on Hammer. And now again, that the Citadel had exploded. Survival was unlikely. But Shepard was always one to get out of situations like this, even coming back from the dead.

The Normandy wasn't too badly damaged and their communications still worked. They'd received news that the relays had been damaged. Immediate repairs were being made so that they could get back to Earth before running out of food.

Hackett has now ordered a scanning on the Citadel for any signs of life. Now all Liara had to do was wait. And wait.

Several minutes later—or what seemed like years—Hackett reported that they found something. Weak as it may be, it was still life. Liara felt relief. That Shepard—_her _Shepard—still has a chance. She could only hope that the injuries wouldn't be too severe.

She was sitting next to her crewmates in the mess hall. Everyone was restless. Tali holding on to Garrus, Kaidan sending a message on his Omni-tool (who Liara knew was to Shepard's brother), and Cortez speaking to the temporary comm specialist. They had also heard that James had died. EDI's body didn't make it either. Perhaps Shepard was right to have stopped Liara from coming. But if Shepard died, then she would've gladly died with her.

Liara retreated into her cabin and sat on the bed.

"EDI, update me of any news of Shepard as soon as you get them."

"Of course, Liara."

A few seconds passed.

"Liara?"

The asari nearly jumped from the mattress. "Yes EDI?"

"This is irrelevant but may I talk to you about it?"

Liara paused. "…Sure."

"I have 'amusing sex memories' as Joker calls it of you and the Commander engaging in sexual intercourse. One, for example, of you sexually pleasuring the Commander while pleasuring yourself as well. Would you like me to send you these recordings to cope with the absence of Shepard? Joker believed it would help."

Liara blushed the deepest shade of purple in her life. "…Uhm, no EDI, that's fine. I won't be needing them right now. Did… did Joker watch these recordings?"

"Yes."

She blushed even further and decided she would flay the perverted pilot alive with her mind later.

….

Shepard was dreaming. She went unconscious and after a few a minutes, the dreams started happening. Dreams of her childhood, her past.

"_You two, get in here."_

_A middle-aged looking man with stubble and rundown clothing beckoned the two ragged children to come into the RV. It was a fairly large one and even looked pretty nice. They hurried inside and closed the door._

"_Who are you?" John asked, getting settled on the couch inside._

_The man sitting in the recliner seat replied "I'm your mother's brother. Before she died she told me to take you two in."_

_Jane, sitting next to her brother, spoke up. "You're our uncle?"_

"_Yes. Now, you two should probably get something to eat. I don't have much, but I'll teach you guys how to lie, cheat, and steal."_

"_That sounds evil," John muttered._

"_Would you rather starve to death?"_

"_I guess not."_

"_Then do as I say. And yes, you'll have to kill people to defend yourselves. But I'll show you how to do it properly."_

"_Do you kill people?" Jane asked._

"_Yes. Killing is an art, and I am a master."_

…_._

_Eight years later. John and Jane were now fourteen years old. Their uncle had taught them well how to stay alive in this land of turmoil. Were they masters? Certainly not. They still occasionally ran into trouble. But were they adept? Yes. They've deceived and killed people. Why? To survive. That had been their only objective all along. They've travelled all around North America in the RV that they would soon call home. Money was always low, gas always expensive. They had to find other means of acquiring it. The twins certainly could not go to school. Maybe they would, if there was still a stable government in this blasted country._

_Right now, the two of them were outside of a store trying to figure out how to rob it. They wore ski masks, black hoodies with the hood up, black gloves, dark denim skinny jeans, and black converse shoes._

"_Let's just kill the cashier," Jane suggested._

"_No Jane, we go in, threaten him, make sure he doesn't see our faces, take the money and leave," John said in a frustrated tone. "I know the cops are lazy around here, but they'll still notice a dead body in a convenient store._

"_Fine," his sister sighed. John always was one to use violence as a last resort. He mainly used deceit and this irresistible charm that seemed to ensnare everyone. Jane, on the other hand, mainly used her fists or bullets to get what she wanted._

_They walked into the store and both pointed a gun to the cashier._

"_Give us the money NOW!" Jane shouted._

_The woman behind the counter looked nearly scared to death as she quickly opened the cash register and handed out wads of cash._

_John stored the money into the bag he was carrying and made sure to steal some snacks as well. Once they got what they needed, Jane looked at her brother. He nodded._

"_Thank you and have a nice day, lady," John said._

_The woman looked confused as Jane took out another gun from her belt and shot her with a tranquiliser. She fell onto the desk with a hard thud._

"_Let's go," John said. _

_The twins walked out of the store. It was rather warm today in the outskirts of what used to be Los Angeles. _

…

Aria T'Loak, like mostly everyone else, was stuck on Earth. She had promised to help Shepard and kept her promise. She gathered what she could and left Omega. Good thing, too, because the Reapers had completely obliterated the station. But now they were stranded. The relays had been damaged and they have reports that they should be repaired within months. Until then, she will be staying on this devastated planet of ruin. The Reapers had been defeated, about fucking time, and everyone's mostly been focusing on restoring what was destroyed.

It's been about a month since Shepard released the energy from the Crucible. She is now in the hospital getting all fixed up. Aria didn't see the Commander herself but from the news she received she was in a damn terrible state. The only thing that kept her alive was her Cerberus implants. Now she seems to be recovering quite nicely. Slowly, yes, but nicely. Shepard was awake from her coma, eating normally, but the injuries are the only thing keeping her from leaving. Maybe she should visit her. Aria would use her irresistible charm on the soldiers guarding her room, then meet up with Shepard.

…..

"Aria?"

Shepard was on the hospital bed getting some rest. The Commander looked pretty battered up from all those injuries she suffered but was still recognizable. She had just eaten and Aria's sudden appearance surprised her.

"So, how are things with the great Commander Shepard?"

"Fine I guess. I think I'll be released within another month. What brings you here?"

"Oh you know, meeting up with my uh, what do the humans call it? Fuckbuddy?" Aria flashed a wry smile.

"Well, um, yeah. I guess…"

"So, anyone else visit you?"

"My brother. He came as soon as possible to see me."

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah, a twin. I don't really talk about him much."

"Clearly."

Aria then surprised Shepard by climbing onto the bed and mounting her.

"Aria, what are you-?"

Shepard was greeted with a kiss. It was unrestrained and rough. Aria growled in Shepard's ear, "Let's do it right now, on the hospital bed."

"What if we get caught?" Or worse yet, Liara catches them. Irrational as the thought may be since she was light years away right now, Shepard couldn't help but wonder.

Oh shit, Liara. _I can't keep cheating on her, _Shepard thought. Then Aria unbuckled her top and her breasts were on display. Now all she could think of was to bury her face in them.

"We won't."


	7. Bloodline

The Normandy was headed for Earth. After six long months, the prioritized relays have been repaired and now the crew was finally leaving the jungle planet they had crashed on. The planet would soon be colonized once everything else has been dealt with.

Liara had received news that Shepard had survived and was now released from the hospital. Thank the goddess, she didn't know how she would've dealt with her death _again. _But right now, Liara didn't dwell on that idea. She focused on getting back to Shepard. It would be several days until they reached the human homeworld, so Liara busied herself by turning off her Broker networks and using the screens to play an old, 21st century human video game called 'The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.' Liara had always loved video games, they helped her forget about all her problems and as a child they served as a fantasy land when her mother Benezia was at work. And although study soon took up most of her time, she always found ways to sneak into her dorm and play the newest platformer or shooter.

The asari began customizing her character. She created a human female, in the likeness of Shepard.

…

_How can something that feels so good be so wrong? _Shepard thought. This must be what drug addicts think of. Or perhaps even rapists. She was lying in bed, naked, with Aria at her side who was smoking a cigarette. They had just finished another one of their 'sessions' together and were now simply relaxing. But Shepard's mind wasn't.

Since being released from the hospital, Shepard had stayed with Aria in her apartment while the Alliance was picking a place for the Commander to live in, temporarily. Only a few buildings remained, so it wasn't exactly an easy job.

Although Shepard felt extremely guilty about it, she had continued to have sex with Aria in Liara's absence. She needed some way to relieve some stress, didn't she? Plus, it did somewhat boost her recovery. But all good things must eventually come to an end.

"Liara's coming to Earth in a few days," Shepard said. "I'm not sure if we should continue—"

"I know Shepard," Aria interrupted. "We have to stop _this. _But hey, I had a good time. And since I'm a matriarch and Omega's pretty much been destroyed, I have one last thing I want to do in my life."

Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"I think you know that I used to have a daughter. Liselle…"

"Yes, I know. And she's—"

"Dead. Yes, she is no longer alive. She was only one in my life that I was sure I _loved. _She was also the only other T'Loak in the galaxy."

"What does this have to do with me?"

Aria sighed. "I mapped your DNA, Shepard."

Shepard's mouth hung open. She got Aria… _pregnant? _"Why?"

"Think about it Shepard. If I die without a successor, the entire T'Loak bloodline is lost forever. I don't have that much time left, either."

"I… I'm sorry Aria, but I won't be there for our daughter, I just can't."

"I know. I would've been shocked if you decided you wanted to. I plan on raising her alone."

The Commander nodded. It's better this way. She still wanted Liara and those little blue children… even if one of them was going to be pink.

"Send me pictures. I'm still her father; I want to know her accomplishments and achievements. What will you name her?"

"Athena. Yes, it's a human name. I figure if the dad's human, why the hell not? And also, I know Athena in your culture is the goddess of war…"

"You're going to teach her your ways, Aria?" Shepard asked.

"The T'Loak bloodline has always been powerful and considering the fact that she'll have Commander Shepard as a father… I can imagine she'll make an excellent heir. I just hope she won't be too much like you. You can be pretty obnoxious at times."

Shepard chuckled. "Who was Liselle's father?"

Aria narrowed her eyes at her. "None of your fucking business."


	8. Rule 34

"One more thing though, Shepard."

"Yes Aria?"

Aria suddenly grabbed Shepard's head and entered her mind, easily breaking through Shepard's weak mental defenses. Shepard wasn't sure what she did as Aria let go as quickly as she forced herself in. The Commander shook her head as she recovered from what just happened.

"What was that?"

"I hid your memories of us so that Liara or anyone else wouldn't be able to see them."

"You could do that?"

"I'm Aria-fucking-T'Loak. What do you think?"

"Right." They both sat in silence, Aria continuing to smoke her cigarette. Shepard decided she wanted one, too. She grabbed the pack on the table next to the bed and took one out.

"Light," Shepard said as she put the cigarette in her mouth, Aria grabbing the lighter and lighting the tip for her. An after sex smoke was one of the common rituals that both of them did. And while they weren't really smokers themselves, a cigarette after getting laid felt like the best damn thing in the galaxy.

* * *

"_FUS… RO DAH!" _shouted Liara's Dovahkiin. She had been playing Skyrim for the past twelve hours now. She didn't feel like waiting for the arrival on Earth doing nothing, so she just continued gaming on.

Liara's Dovahkiin had just won the war for the Imperials. She didn't much like the Stormcloaks, racist and arrogant as they were. Liara then turned off the gaming system. She had become tired of playing it now.

She began surfing the extranet. Bored as she was, she felt like searching up her crewmates. Liara then came across a website. ? She clicked on the link. Sudden images of pretty much everyone on the Normandy crew flashed. Pictures and GIFs created by horny fanatics across the galaxy, depicting them in every sexual position possible. The weirdest thing though, Liara thought, was the rather large amounts of images of her screwing her female friends with a big, blue, veiny… cock attached to her body. Liara had heard of some Asari getting 'sex changes' although this was just ridiculous. 'Futa', they call it, on nearly every page of her. And if it wasn't her screwing females with an 'appendage', it was Shepard. Still big and… veiny, except it wasn't blue. Oh goddess, Garrus having sex with _Legion_?!

Liara quickly closed the tab and deleted her history. That was enough extranets for today.

…

bitch


	9. Daddy

A/N: Sorry for the late update. Added a sex scene to 'Aria T'Loak' chapter for those that wanted the story to be more explicit. It isn't really long but I kind of rushed it so… oh well. Plus, I updated nearly every chapter to add some hilarity to the story. I'm not really good at drama so I'm sticking to humour. So if you want to re-read the story… go ahead.

"I've had enough of this," Shepard took a menacing step toward the reporter.

"Please don't hurt me!"

"Please don't make me." And with that, Shepard punched the reporter across the face. She left the scene and headed to the bar, in which she found her brother.

"John!"

"Jane." The twins hugged tightly. "How have you been?"

"Fine. Scars have healed up pretty good."

"Uncle's been in London for a few weeks now. Let's go visit him."

"What's he been doing here?"

"Teaching an Asari biotic class."

"On Earth?"

"They were all rescued."

"Alright then."

* * *

"Jane! Давно не виделись (long time no see)."

"Привет дядя (hello uncle)," she replied.

"John? Как дела (how are you)?"

"Спасибо, хорошо. А у вас (Fine thanks. And you)?"

"Хорошо (fine). So Jane, I hear you just saved the galaxy. I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks."

"If your mother was here today, she would be, too. So, what would you two like to do right now? Play the old piano again?" They walked into the living room of the apartment. There was an old keyboard in the corner. "Why don't you two sing the classic song we used to sing when you guys were younger? Jane, you'll play and John will sing."

The twins walked to the keyboard. Jane dusted it off with her hands and tested the keys. It still sounded fine. She began playing the notes of their childhood song as John began to sing.

"_I will fuck you in the morning__  
__Fuck you late at night__  
__Fuck you while the moon__  
__Or the sun is shining bright__  
__I wanna fuck you__  
__Yes, I wanna fuck you__  
__I wanna fuck you baby__  
__But your door is closed__  
__I will fuck you at the backseat__  
__Of my newest car__  
__I will fuck you in the toilet__  
__Of a well distinguished bar__I wanna fuck you__  
__Yes, I wanna fuck you__  
__I wanna fuck you baby__  
__But your door is closed__  
__I'm sorry babe__Yeah__  
__O yeah__  
__One more time__Oh!__I will fuck you in the kitchen__  
__Fuck you in the woods__  
__Fuck you as you like it__  
__As wild and hard I'd could__I wanna fuck you__  
__Yeah, I wanna fuck you__  
__I wanna fuck you baby__  
__But your little door is closed!__Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, yeah."_

As they finished the song, their uncle started clapping. "That was great, can't believe you guys still know the notes and lyrics."

"It's a good song," John said.

"Hey guys," the uncle called.

"Yes?" Jane asked.

"Would you like to assist a teaching session with the Asari biotics?"

"Uhh…. sure."

"Good, just follow me to the building."

* * *

The three walked to a small building in the outskirts of the city. "This place is nearly impenetrable. It survived the war easy."

"Why aren't all buildings made out of that? That would've prevented a lot of damage and deaths," John said.

"This building was specifically made to survive pretty much everything, so the material used to make it is quite rare. We turned it into a school, somewhat." They walked into the building in which there were four doors. They entered the third one.

"Mr. Makarov!" An Asari teacher was in the middle of teaching the class. "Glad you can make it. Oh… is this… Commander Shepard?"

Jane blushed. "Uh yeah… oohh." The teacher had walked up to her and started to kiss her passionately. Her hands were in her hair and Jane clutched at her waist as it got more heated. The teacher then abruptly stopped the kiss but didn't remove herself from her.

"Commander Shepard, I'm Miss Fellatio."

"Pleasure to meet you Miss Fellatio." Jane said. The Asari children were staring.

"DADDY!" They all screamed and ran toward Commander Shepard.

"What the hell?" John said.

"Been busy, Jane?" Makarov asked.

"I didn't even know I had Asari children. Weird…."

"Daddy! Why did you leave mommy?" a little blue Asari child at her leg asked.

"Huh, uh... daddy couldn't pay for child support."

"Students, back to your seats," Miss Fellatio ordered. The children all whined and reluctantly went back to their desks.

"They all have your eyes," John whispered to Jane.

"Commander Shepard, I would be honored if you would teach the class with me today," Miss Fellatio said.

"I would be happy to assist," she replied.

"Excellent! And if you ever need me for anything else later…" she started tracing her fingers over Jane's shirt. "_I _would be happy to assist."

Jane gulped. "Of course." She cleared her throat. "First, there is the biotic charge…"

…

"…and that is how you twerk," John said.

"That was amazing uncle!" an Asari child said. "And Mr. Makarov and daddy too!"

"We were happy to teach you guys."

"Can you do this again sometime?" a small Asari child asked.

"Hmm maybe," Jane said.


	10. Going the Distance

A/N: One of the scenes in this story is based on the table scene from Going the Distance (2004)

"By the fucking goddess, I need a cigarette," Miss Fellatio breathed.

Shepard, who was currently smoking, handed her a Batarian cigarette. Unlike human cigarettes, they gave off a purplish smoke and had a pleasurable odor. The two lay in bed completely naked.

"I didn't know an Asari could bend and stretch like that," Shepard muttered.

"I may have had flexibility, Commander, but you certainly had reach."

"I get that a lot," she laughed. "Miss Fellatio... you give amazing fellatio."

"Thank you."

"Just so you know, you might need a wheelchair for a few days."

"What?" Miss Fellatio tried to get up but a sharp pain shot through her groin. "Agh! Dammit."

"Yeah, sorry about that. But don't worry, I love you."

"Really?"

"Nahh I just wanted to get in your pants," Shepard got up from bed and started getting dressed.

"You asshole! I'm going to have your baby!"

"I just met you and you mapped my DNA? Sorry, sweetheart, but that's your fault."

"Humans..."

"Gotta love us, hm? Look, I have another Asari to attend to, I already have one kid and I don't need another."

"_One _kid? What about my students?"

Shepard rolled her eyes. "I'm pretty sure they're not mine."

"They all look like you, Commander. Eye color, nose, even their marking resemble your scars."

"Well I sure as hell hope this doesn't come back to haunt me."

As Shepard left, she wondered. '_Why don't I feel guilty about cheating anymore?'_

* * *

_Quite some time later..._

"So... you're marrying my daughter."

"Yes."

"Well... huh. Wow. I gotta say, she chose very wisely. Commander Shepard. Goddess damn. COMMANDER-MOTHERLUVIN'-SHEPARD! That is fucking impressive," Aethyta laughed. "I'm actually a little jealous."

"Really?" Shepard smirked.

"Really."

"How so?"

"Let's just say there were a lot of nights where I fantasised about the great Commander Shepard fucking me senseless. I know all about your Little... Shepard (Hail to the Queen!)."

"I wouldn't call it little."

"Oh really?"

"Care to find out?"

Aethyta chuckled. "Maybe another time."

* * *

Commander Shepard and Liara T'Soni had finally gotten married. Bondmates, wives, whatever the title. Right now, they were at the table with all the other guests, ready to begin eating. The food consisted of different cuisines from various species, mostly from human and asari with the occasional drell seafood dish and of course dextro meals for le Garrus, Tali, and friends. Aethyta was sitting next to Shepard, Liara across from her, for whatever reason. Lately, however, Aethyta has been acting more than a little flirtatious around Shepard.

Aethyta placed her hand on Shepard's leg. Thankfully, Liara didn't see. She moved her hand closer and closer into her inner thighs. Shepard felt herself getting hard.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Relax. No one can see." She skillfully removed her belt with her one hand and opened her pants. By now, Shepard's erection had reached its full length. Aethyta pulled out her meat from the slot of her boxers and began jerking her off.

"Is something wrong, Shepard?" Liara asked.

"Huh? Uh no, why?"

"You're making a face."

"I'm not." Suddenly, Aethyta stopped the handjob, stood up, and announced "I NEED TO TAKE A SHIT." Everyone stopped talking and stared at her. The Matriarch then walked off. Shepard, disappointed, started to eat. Before she could, however, some human stood and said "Before we eat, can Shepard please say grace?"

Everyone grumbled. There are still religious people out there? "Please, I'm not a believer and most of us aren't either..."

"Come on! I know there are a bunch of aliens here-"

Several of them gave him the stink eye.

"But we must honor the Lord God of the heavens for this fabulous meal!

Shepard sighed. She then noticed Aethyta at the corner of her eye, crawling under the table. Within moments, she reached her. Shepard gulped and clasped her hands in prayer, the others doing so as well.

"Dear Lord..."

Aethyta began swirling her tongue around the head.

"Thank you for this... mmm... _succulent..._ meal."

With one hand on the base, she sucked on her cock while simultaneously stroking the rest of her length.

"Ehh... bless us... and please forgive us for anything that we've done orrr oohhhh... are doing _right _now!"

She slid her cock all the way down her throat.

"Do it.. do it... don't stop loving, don't stop baby, PLEASE DON'T STOP. AWWHHH." Shepard slammed her fist against the table, startling Liara out of prayer.

"And let us... just let us... SWALLOW our sins and... goh.. gahhh... OH CHRIST! OH CHRIST! AHH! PRAISE JESUS!" She slumped into her chair.

"Praise Jesus! Now let's eat!" said the religious man.

Everybody got to eating, but Shepard had to take some time to recover. When she finally sat up, Liara looked at her with a questioning stare.

"What was that all about?"

"What was what?"

"Is that type of prayer normal for humans?"

"Absolutely."

Aethyta walked back to her seat. "That was an amazing shit!"

"Okay dad," Liara muttered.

"It _WAS_ amazing," Shepard groaned.

"What?"

"This food is amazing."

Aethyta snickered.

"Dad, you have something on your face."

"I have what on my face?"

"You have something around your lips... it's white."

Aethyta wiped it off. "Gone?"

"Yes."

Now it was Shepard's turn to snigger.


	11. Polaris

"Shepard, you came," a very pregnant looking Aria greeted her at the door.

"Course I did," she said, stepping into the apartment. "Is this your new place?"

"Yeah. A bit plain, but within a few weeks, I'll have it looking like T'Loak's true domain."

"Of course you will."

"How's Liara?"

"She's uh... she's pregnant."

Aria looked mildly surprised. "Oh, well... congratulations."

"Thanks." She looked at Aria. "Hey, don't think I forgot about you," she placed a palm on her cheek. Then another hand on her belly. "Or her."

"Shepard, I have feelings for you but-"

"Feelings? I thought we were just friends with benefits."

"It started out that way, but... I've been attracted to you for a long time and I was just waiting for the opportunity for you to, well..."

"So that's why you called me up? You heard that Liara cheated on me so you used that to your advantage so you could sleep with me?" Shepard wasn't angry. Just confused.

"Well when you put it that way... Look, I'm not really a good person and I'm not so sure you are either. But I have strong feelings for you, Shepard. Feelings I haven't felt in a long time. You make me... happy."

"You weren't happy on Omega?"

"I was content. Satisfied. But not happy."

Shepard walked toward Aria and embraced her. "Well I'm glad I make you feel that way."

"Yes but... I know it will never be... can never be, because of _Liara_," she spat out her name angrily.

"Look, Aria, I love her. But that doesn't mean I care for you any less." Aria rested the side of her head on Shepard's chest. The Commander noticed the music player on a table. She let go of Aria and moved toward it to turn it on. She played a human classic, Canon in D. She walked back to Aria.

"Care to dance?" she held out her hand. Aria grabbed it. Shepard had one hand on her waist, Aria had one on her shoulder. They danced and swayed, their movements matching the music.

...

"I love you, Shepard."

"I love you too, Aria."

...

Aria pulled her lover down toward her, in bed. "I want you inside me."

Shepard happily obliged.

* * *

_A century later... 10 years after Shepard's death._

A new club had open up, Polaris, by the infamous daughter of Aria T'Loak, Athena. Ossaidra, Commander Shepard's firstborn, decided to head over there for some drinks. Alone.

The music was loud, booming, and was somewhat annoying. Ossaidra had never really been to a club before. She headed to the bar. Ossaidra had rarely drunk alcohol, and so she had quite the difficult time doing so. The bitter taste, the burning sensation... it was all too much for her. She was the polar opposite of her father in that respect. A batarian walked toward her.

"Athena would like to see you," he said. Ossaidra nodded and followed him up the club. _Why do I feel like this has happened before? _she thought.

She stepped into Athena's private room. There she was, Athena T'Loak sitting in her mother's infamous couch. She motioned for Ossaidra to come sit with her. Athena looked a lot like her mother, same shade of purple except with different facial markings. That and her brilliant, green eyes. Just like Ossaidra's and her sisters'.

"Ossaidra," she began. "Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to have a good time."

"Well clearly, that isn't working out."

"I guess not."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"The owner of this club, Aria T'Loak's daughter."

"And Commander Shepard's daughter."

"Commander Shepard? But she's my father." Ossaidra was confused. Was this woman really claiming to be her dad's daughter?

Athena laughed. "You and your sisters think you're so special. T'Soni getting pregnant with you was all over the news. They labeled you 'Shepard's firstborn', even giving you her last name. What you don't realise is that you are not even _close _to being the first. Not even the sixth, seventh, or eighth."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Are you a fucking idiot? I'm trying to say that _our _dad was a horny motherfucker, and she couldn't control the snake in her pants. All the way to the grave."

Ossaidra frowned. "How do you know this?"

Athena smiled. "I have my ways."

"Was my dad there for you?"

"_Our _dad, yes, she was, when I needed her most. She was as much a father to me as she was to you. Even if she only visited once a month. Though, I think she may have visited my mom more often."

Ossaidra narrowed her eyes. "Why tell me this?"

"I saw you in my bar. And I'm sick and tired of you and your sisters acting like you're 'hot shit' because you're Shepard's daughters. I wanted to set it straight. So be sure to tell your sisters about this too, or I will."

Ossaidra nodded. Athena continued. "I want you to visit some people. Shepard's other children. Our sisters... and brothers." She sent a message to Ossaidra's omni-tool. "Their names, apartments, etc. are on there. Good luck."

"Thank you."


	12. Banana!

Ossaidra was going through the houses and apartments on Thessia first. She re-read the first house number on her omni-tool. _It can't be, _she thought, _that would mean she lives right next door! _She walked to the house near her own and rung the doorbell.

"Hello?" An old woman answered.

"Uh, yes, is Nicholas Chambers here?"

"Of course, deary, just follow me. He's in the kitchen." They walked into the spacious household, right to where a tall, red-headed human man was standing, eating some sort of Earth fruit.

"So why did you want to see my son Nick?" the woman asked.

"I'm searching the galaxy for Commander Shepard's children."

"So you know?"

"I just found out."

"I never really knew my dad," Nicholas said. "I only saw her once, at the supermarket. A blurry memory, I was pretty young."

"M-maybe, you could show me?" Ossaidra suggested. Nicholas and the old woman nodded in approval. The asari walked over and initiated the meld, looking through his memories.

_95 years ago..._

_"Behave yourself, Nicholas!" Kelly demanded. The little red-haired boy would not stop jumping and playing with the various foods on the shelves. His mother sighed and placed him on the designated area for children on the cart. Distracted, Kelly accidentally ran into someone else's._

_"Oh sorry," she said. _

_"It's fine," the other woman replied. Kelly looked at her with wide eyes._

_"Shepard?"_

_"Do I know you?"_

_"I'm Kelly Chambers! Your old Yeoman!"_

_Shepard chuckled. "Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't recognise you with your clothes on."_

_"Very funny, Commander. I don't know if you ever knew, but you had a son." Nicholas babbled some unintelligible nonsense._

_"He's cute," she said. "__Well, goodbye fellow red-head, I have to go back to uh, you know, my family."_

_"Right," she said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "You probably should."_

_"See you."_

Ossaidra broke off the meld. "I didn't realise my dad could be so... irresponsible, when it comes to her own children."

"Yeah well, she was one horny-motherfucker," Kelly said.

"Nowadays, I hear that a lot. So what are you guys doing on Thessia?"

"I work here and take care of my mother," Nicholas answered. "It's pretty nice, a lot like Earth."

"I like Earth. Dad used to take me there."

"I'm sure she did."

* * *

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor. She went to room 506, and rung the doorbell. An Asari was there, dressed in a towel and brushing her teeth.

"Do you need something?" she asked.

"I want to talk to you about something."

"About what?"

"Your dad? Shepard?"

"Come in," she muttered through her toothbrush. Ossaidra walked in. "So why do you want talk about my FUCKING dad?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry, I have TITTY-FARTING Setteruot Syndrome. I say things on impulse."

"Oh, okay. Well, I was given a list of a few of my dad's 'other' kids and well, you're on the list. Leona."

"BITCH NIPPLE! I barely even knew her, but I saw my mom having a few COCKSUCKING! encounters with her every once in a while."

"Was _that _on impulse or did you really mean it?"

"It's kind of true. Why do you even want to know this stuff about your father? She died like 10 years ago."

"I just... I'm curious."

"Well, there's an old human saying that curiosity killed the CUNT! Anyway, you're a fellow Asari, why don't you just look through my memories?"

"Okay," Ossaidra leaned toward her and took a deep breath, entering yet another meld.

_The door opened, but instead of just being her mother, she was accompanied by a stupidly drunk human with fiery red hair, whom Leona knew to be the famous Commander Shepard, her dad. They laughed as they walked in, Shepard spilling her bottle of alcohol as she stumbled inside. Her mother appeared to be drunk as well._

_"Mama!" she ran to her. Her mother just smiled like an idiot and shooed her off. "Papa?"_

_"Go away, you little runt, me and your mother have some business to attend to." Shepard clumsily sat on the couch, her mother unbuckling her pants and taking out her 'banana,' the Earth fruit in her underwear._

_"Mama! Don't eat her STUPID BITCH-ASS banana! You might choke on it!"_

_"She'll choke on it, alright," Shepard said. She used her hand to push her head farther down her 'banana'. Leona just looked on, rather confused by the sight of her mother bobbing up and down on her 'banana'. When her mother stopped eating it, Shepard's large 'banana' was covered in her mother's saliva, who removed her pants and sat on her dad's 'banana.'_

_"Mama?" Leona said. She watched as her mama moaned against her father's 'banana', her dad pushing it into her. Leona wondered why anyone would want a banana inside of their pee-hole, but her mama sounded like she was enjoying it. By the time her dad was done, her 'banana' spewed forth some sort of white goo into her mother, some of it dripping on the carpet._

"Wow," Ossaidra said.

"Yeah, our dad was one horny-MOTHERFUCKER!"

"'Banana'?"

"Oh come on, Earth fruits are FUCKING delicious."

"I agree but... the way you just watched them... why?"

"Curiosity? I didn't even know what they were doing at the TITTY-SPRINKING DONKEY SHIT ON MY FACE time."

"Well, I gotta leave."

"See you, SHIT-PISS-FART TWEEDLE BALLMUNCHING PUBIC HAIR DOUCHE IN MY MOUTH!"

"I should go."


	13. MY EYES

Ossaidra walked into the elevator, which already had two passengers in it. Two of her own kind talking loudly and annoyingly. She pressed the button to the twentieth floor. As the door closed, they kept on talking about some useless garbage like boy-bands and omni-dildos.

"Will you two SHUT THE FUCK UP?"

Much to her displeasure, they decided to press every single button for every single floor. Ossaidra yelled at the top of her lungs as the elevator stopped on every goddess damn floor. She bashed their faces into the wall when they arrived on the twentieth floor. She checked her omni-tool for the correct apartment number, room 2013. Councilor Tevos' daughter, Kalira.

"Yes bitch?" the Asari at the door asked. She was blue like her, though her markings looked somewhat like Councilor Tevos'.

"Are you Kalira?"

"Yeah bitch."

"Uhh... yeah. I need to talk to you."

"Can you tell me what, bitch?"

"Shepard."

Kalira sighed. "Come in, bitch."

They sat on the couch. "Want some tea, bitch?"

"No thank you."

"Kay, bitch." She set the tea down onto the table. "So bitch, what do you want?"

"I want to know about Shepard's role in your life. Let me... meld with you."

"Fine, bitch."

_Kalira was trying to sleep, but found it incredibly difficult what with all the noise her mom and dad were making. Whenever her dad visited, she and her mother would always make so much noise._

_*THUMP* *THUMP* "Harder, harder!" her mom shouted, though the wall muffled her voice considerably._

_*THUMP* *THUMP* "I'm, I'm-"_

_Kalira turned over in her bed. 'Will they please be more quiet?' she thought. 'They're so loud when they wrestle.'_

_"Awwww yeaahhh!" her dad said. They got more quiet until Kalira could only hear a few whispers._

"I see she didn't play much of a role in your life, huh?"

"No, bitch."

"Every time I meld with one of her kids, I always get these weird sex scenes."

"Our dad was horny-motherfucker, bitch."

"Why do you talk like that?"

"Shut the fuck up, bitch."

* * *

Next person: Yvonne Lawson. She had already gone through the ones on Thessia, and now she was headed for Earth, where there were plenty more on her list there. It wasn't cheap, transportation to that planet, but thankfully, Ossaidra's family was rich as fuck.

The shuttle arrived in London, the famous city where the final battle of the Reaper War took place, where Commander Shepard totally kicked ass. Well, that's how her dad always put it. Her mom told the story less... exciting.

Ossaidra took the skycar and drove to the building. Room 8934.

"Can I help you?"

"Let's cut the bullshit, I want to talk to you about your dad so let me meld with you so I can see your memories of her."

"Uh well, okay." They walked in and sat at on the chairs near the counter. "I've never melded with an Asari before."

"Okay, the first time isn't really that bad."

_Yvonne finally finished her drawing. It was picture of her family holding hands next to their house. She decided she wanted to show her mom and dad. So, she ran to their bedroom and opened the door._

_"YES SHEPARD!"_

_"AWWWHH!" Shepard pulled out and came on Miranda's face. Some of her 'white goo', however, missed and went all the way to Yvonne, getting some in her hair and hitting her directly in the eye._

_"My eye!" Yvonne screamed._

_"Oh shit!" Shepard said. She ran to her, her penis getting limp and swinging around as she moved. "I'm so sorry, Yvonne, let me take it out!"_

_"Daddy my eye it burns!" she cried. Her eye was now swollen and red. Shepard carefully examined it and took her to the bathroom to flush it out. After that, she reached into the medicine cabinet and treated her with eye-drops._

_"Better?" Shepard asked._

_"Thanks daddy." Yvonne hugged her. "What was that white stuff?"_

_"Ask Miranda," she chuckled. Miranda glared at her. _

_"I cannot believe you did that," she whispered angrily._

_"It was a mistake. You should've caught it. With your face." Miranda elbowed her side._

"Is it just me, or do all the memories I find end up being traumatic?"

"Our dad was a horny-motherfucker."


	14. Trauma

Ossaidra went back to her house. After looking throughout the galaxy for her other 'siblings', she had finished nearly the entire list. Athena made sure to let her know that the list didn't contain _all _of Shepard's children... only the ones she knew. The exact number was staggering: 5,027.

How her father managed to impregnate that many bitches blew her mind. What amazed her even more was that her mom never even found out! All Ossaidra knew was that Shepard was ONE HORNY-MOTHERFUCKER! There were, however, three more people on the list. Their names seemed rather odd, neither human nor asari. They all lived on Palaven, too, in the same apartment. Strange. Whatever, she'd get to them once she had gotten a good night's sleep.

As Ossaidra entered her home, the one sitting on the couch shocked her.

"Dad?!"

"Huh, what? Uhh, where are you?" Shepard had on some bandages over her eyes.

"W-what are you doing here?! And why do you have that on your eyes?"

"Eye surgery. Oh, and I've been here for a while now... I never really left."

"But you were dead for the past 10 years!"

"Bitch, whatchu been smokin'? I was only gone for 10 days for a school trip!"

_Oh shiiiiiiiittt... I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills... I better go drink some milk to wear it off. _"Oh, uh... okay. Sorry."

"Liara said YOU were gone for three days. Where were YOU?"

"Earth..."

"Doing?"

"Nothing. I need to go to my room and... process some things."

"Tell your friend she left her purse here."

"What was Yelena doing here without me?"

"Oh you know... sorting out some... schoolwork with me. Some chatting..."

"Okay, dad, I'm gonna go now." Schoolwork, hm? Or were you two fucking? After working for decades in the council, Shepard had stepped down and took up a teaching career for biotics. Ossaidra wouldn't be surprised if her dad had been... more than close with some of her students. The female ones, at least. _Yelena, you whore! I knew there was no way you could've maintained that A+ throughout the entire semester! Goddess_ _damn you if you get pregnant with my half-sister! Come to think of it, why doesn't dad just screw mom? Does she really put out that badly? No fucking way..._

* * *

The computer made a beep noise, which usually meant an e-mail had been received. Ossaidra decided to check it out. She turned on the screen to find a window open with her dad's e-mails. It's a little nosy, but Ossaidra was just so damn curious...

_To: Commander Shepard_

_From: Yelena Isinbayeva_

_Subject: Stopping By_

_"Hey, Commander! Just wanted to let you know that I'm stopping by later to 'talk about my grades.' I hope you don't mind but I'll be using my 'biotics'... if you know what I mean. But of course I learned from the best so it shouldn't be too much trouble. Also, if your bondmate is around we can always go to my place, my parents aren't home. Take care!_

"Son of a bitch," Ossaidra muttered. She opened up another e-mail.

_To: Commander Shepard_

_From: UR biggest fan!_

_Subject: I LOVE you_

_SHEPPPARRDDDD!I AM UR BIGGEST FAN AND I JUST WANTED TO LET U NO THAT I LUV U SOOOOO MUUCCH! U SAVED THE GALAXY AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT!UR STUPID BITCH WIFE DOESNT DESERVE YOU MY NUMBER IS 544-3434-1924 SO JUST CALL ME IF UR TIRED OF HER AND WANT TO FUCK ME INSTEAD BECAUSE IM WAY BETTER.I WANT UR BIG FAT COCK INSIDE OF ME AND I WANT U TO FILL ME UP AND GET ME PREGNANT WITH UR DELICIOUS HUMAN SEED...XOXOXOXO_

"The fuck?"

_To: Commander Shepard_

_From: EResd_

_Hey Shepard. Yeah um... I'm pregnant. And I'm keeping the baby so don't even try to talk me out of this. But yeah, I took a pregnancy test and it's positive. It's definitely yours so... yeah._

* * *

Ossaidra woke up on her side... and she sensed a presence behind her. Her shorts and underwear seemed to be gone and... she could feel something prodding at her azure.

"W-who are-?" She was silenced by a hand covering her mouth.

"Ssshhhh, Liara, or you'll wake up the kids." _Dad?! _Shepard started groping her breasts, running her fingers over her nipples. Before she knew it, Ossaidra felt something enter inside of her...

"DAD!" Ossaidra turned over and shoved Shepard away. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Shepard still had the bandages on her face. "I... I'm not in my bedroom, am I?"

"No!"

"And you're not Liara, are you?"

"NO!"

"Ossaidra?"

"YES!"

Shepard felt all of the blood deplete from her penis and rush all the way back into her bloodstream. "Can we just pretend this never happened?"

"Gladly."

"Okay, well," she sighed, getting up and redressing, "I'm going to go sleep now and... throw up."

* * *

"Dad, I'm heading out," Ossaidra called.

"Where're you going this time?"

"Palaven..."

"What for?"

"Um... study... trip."

"Okay then."

...

"*KSSHH* What brings you here *KSSHH* Thessia-clan?"

"Huh, wait where are you?" Ossaidra looked around until she found the little volus standing below her. "Uhh yeah, I'm searching the galaxy for Commander Shepard's children... I have a list of some of them and... well somehow you guys are on the list. Is this some sort of mistake or...?"

"It is no mistake *KSSHH*, Thessia-clan, we are *KSSHH* indeed Shepard's offspring."

"What-wait-how? How is that even possible?"

"*KSSHH* Please come in," the volus beckoned for her to come inside. There was a hanar and an elcor in the living area, watching some sort of Turian soap opera. Ossaidra sat on the sofa, the volus taking a seat with the hanar and elcor on the other sofa.

"This one sees you have brought an honorable visitor into the premises, Vick Norla," the hanar said. "Let this one introduce itself: Goldon."

"With kindness: And I am Solysus," the elcor added.

Ossaidra cleared her throat. "Well, I'm Ossaidra, and according to this list I was given, all three of you are part of Commander Shepard's progeny, like me and many others. Although... I'm not entirely sure how that is possible."

"*KSSHHH* It is quite understandable that you would wonder that *KSSHH* and at one point, we all *KSSHH* did."

"Indeed, this one was quite confused when this one's mother told it that its father was a human."

"With mixed humour and seriousness: our father was one horny-motherfucker."

"Yes, it turns out that our dad had quite the potent seed, *KSSHH* and very adaptive as well *KSSHH*. Please *KSSHH* feel free to meld with any one of us if *KSSHH* you'd like to know more *KSSHH*."

Ossaidra decided that melding with the volus would be the least disturbing, so she leaned down and initiated the mind-meld.

_"With mock-anger and mock-contempt: fuck you, motherfucker," Solysus said._

_"*KSSHH* You were asking for it!" the three started laughing, except for Goldon, who didn't know how to. _

_"Happily: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha ha." They started heading home, in the beautiful mansion where all three of their mothers lived and for some reason their father absent. Well, most of the time. Today, however..._

_"With great ecstasy and pleasure: Yes. Yes. Oh yes." The group walked into the sight of Solysus' mom getting plowed by Commander Shepard, with Goldon's mom using her tentacles to penetrate Vick Norla's mother, who was currently on a leash._

_"*KSSSHHHH* WHAT *KSSSHHHH* THE *KSSSSHHHHHHHH*!"_

_"With horrified shock: Mom?"_

_Goldon went limp and fainted on the floor._

"Well, after melding with over a hundred of my brothers and sisters, I can't say I was surprised," Ossaidra said.

"It was *KSSHH* traumatising."

"Indeed," said Goldon.

"*KSSHH* Our father was a horny-motherfucker, *KSSHH* Thessia-Clan."


	15. Hell Naw

Ossaidra woke up yet again, only this time she couldn't breathe. There was someone on top of her. Hm... she could feel that it had breasts... running her hand along her back she was also human... and there was something inside of her... wait... there was... something... inside... of her...

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT DAD!" Ossaidra pushed her and frantically backed up on her bed.

"What?"

"You did it again!"

"Liara?"

Ossaidra ripped off the bandages.

"My visions' all blurry."

"I'm your daughter!"

"Wait, but I..." Ossaidra looked down to see that Shepard's penis was wet and limp, and there was something dripping from inside of her...

"What the fuck?!"

"HOLY SHIT! I'm sorry, Ossaidra, I swear I didn't know it was you."

"GET OUT!" Shepard hung her head and left the room, but not without bumping her head into the wall first.

* * *

"Hey Ossaidra," Lydia said.

"Hey, little sis," she replied.

"Ossaidra, what's a cunt?"

"Um... ask mom."

"Okay!" Lydia skipped into the kitchen.

"Hey momma!" she said to Liara.

"Hello, little one."

"What's a cunt?"

* * *

Shepard was headed for Earth. With the new technology, traveling from planet to planet was pretty much like a bus ride now. As the shuttle landed in London, she looked for a certain someone...

"Mila!" she called out.

"Shepard," they hugged. Mila Williams, Ashley Williams' granddaughter, had recently turned 18. And for Shepard, that could only mean one thing...

"Come with me to the skycar," Shepard said. She placed an arm over her shoulder, Mila putting her arm on her waist. They boarded the skycar. During the ride, they made some small talk.

"So, how's it been?" Shepard asked.

"Pretty good, grandmama just got into the National Organization for Fallopian Tubes."

"Oh, um... okay."

"It's so weird that you and grandmama are the same age! You don't look 132 at all!"

"Yeah, well, my implants are damn good." They landed on the bridge that connected two buildings together. At the center of the bridge was a fountain. Shepard didn't know why, but she really loved getting off to public masturbation/sex. Just a weird kink...

"Let's go," she said. They walked to the fountain and Shepard pulled down her pants and sat down on it. Mila pulled down her own and straddled her lap. This caught the attention of several others. Most of them were human, but there were several drell and asari about, the occasional turian and salarian. Shepard inserted her dick into Mila's hole.

_GODDAMN SHE IS TIGHT! _Shepard thought. _Damn, I love nailing virgins. _Mila gasped as the thick, pulsating organ entered her. Her juices made it easy for it to go in, but considering the fact that it was her first time, it was still a little difficult to get it all in. _BANANA POWERRR! _Shepard thought.

She thrust the rest of the way in, and although she promised to be gentle, she did quite the opposite. The crowd cheered as Shepard pumped into the human with the strength and vigor of a damn good soldier, and all the males aspired to be like her, the females wishing they were in Mila's place. Shepard dug her nails into her ass and left red marks on each cheek, and she softly bit her neck as her seed flowed into the no-longer-a-virgin's insides. The audience cheered, some of them had recorded the session and were now uploading the footage to the extranet. Semen leaked into the fountain and on the stone as well. Meh, Shepard didn't really care. With Shepard still buried inside of Mila, she was surprised when...

"SHEPARD!" Some woman screamed. From the sound of her voice, she was rather old.

"SHEPARD YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Ash?"

"OH HELL NAW BITCH OH HELL NAW!" The old woman Ashley grabbed Mila's shoulder and pulled her away from Shepard's softening dick.

"Hey, why'd you do that for?"

"YOU JUST STOLE MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S VIRGINITTYYYYY!"

"It's not like I raped her! She definitely gave consent for me to-nevermind."

"SHEPARD I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GET MY GRANDAAAUGHTER PREGGERS I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

Mila scanned herself with her omni-tool. "I'm pregnant."

Shepard gave an embarrassed grin. "Woops?"

Ash's wrinkled face was red with rage. "FUCK YOU, YOU HORNY MOTHERFUCKAAAAHHHHHHH!" She lost her balance and fell down the bridge. Mila looked down.

"Oh shiit," she said.

"I'm out of here," Shepard said.


	16. Freshman 15

Shepard turned to leave the scene. _'Huh, I thought Ashley died. Wait... she fucking died on Virmire! What the hell?_'

Her thoughts were interrupted by a man with a microphone standing in front of a camera. He rushed over to Shepard.

"Hello, Commander Shepard! I'm Victor Smirnov here with Rule 34 News Network and I'd like to ask you: are you up for the challenge?"

"Uhh, what challenge?" Shepard stared into the camera and waved.

"The Freshman 15 Challenge of course!"

"Which is...?"

"We're going to drop you off at a college party and your goal will be to bang 15 freshmen girls in one night! If you succeed, we will grant you with 1,000,000 credits!"

Shepard's eyes went wide. "FUCK YEAH!"

* * *

"CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG!" the crowd cheered. Shepard finished off the beer and wiped her mouth as everyone congratulated her.

"Hey, Commander, how do you feel about butt chugging?" a student asked.

"Fuck no!" Shepard said.

"Naked party!" a girl screamed.

"Damn right!" Shepard rushed over and started penetrating her, right in the damn middle of things. She found a few freshmen girls next to her and did the deed.

"OOHH!"

"MMMM!"

"UHHH"

"NNGGH!"

"Oh shit, that's like 4!" Just 11 more to go. Shepard noticed a girl crying in the corner.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked.

"My boyfriend just cheated on me!"

"Oh, well... I can take your mind off him?"

"How?"

"Like this!" Shepard unzipped her pants and mercilessly pounded into her on the wall. She moaned with pleasure and wrapped her legs around Shepard's waist. Then, some other naked girl just bent over and shook her ass for all to see, Shepard pulled out of the first (she fell on the floor) and stuffed her dick into her asshole. The girl screamed at the unexpected entry, but she soon felt herself loving it.

...

Finally, 14 freshmen girls she had banged and yet she still had to do one more, but Shepard couldn't find any more freshmen. She saw on the couch a freshman-looking girl, but it only looked like it from the back.

"Are you a freshman?"

She turned around, except it was actually a he. "Oi. I'm Ginger Powder."

"Well fuck me in the ass with a broomstick." A girl then sat down next to her.

"You a freshman?"

"Yeah, why?"

Shepard grinned. "You're about to find out."

15!

The woman shot out of the bedroom when Shepard came. She clutched her belly as her eyes widened. "OH MY GOD I'M PREGNANT."

* * *

Shepard left the brothel and headed home. _'Can Asari have Adam's apples?' _she wondered. When she got home, a very pissed off-looking Liara was standing in the hallway.

"Um, hi honey?"

"'Hi honey?' Are you kidding me, Shepard?"

"What'd I do?"

"I think a better question would be _who _did you do?"

"What?"

"There's vid circling around the extranet of you fucking Ash's granddaughter. You cheating son of a bitch!"

"Liara, please-"

Tears streamed down her face. "How could you?"

"Liara, it was a mistake!"

"Don't talk to me!"

_Well, I'm truly buttfucked now. I suppose she won't want sex tonight, as usual. Back to the brothel, then. Damn I'm a horny motherfucker. _Shepard left the house and entered the skycar.

* * *

"So... you forgive me?"

"I... yes, Shepard, I do. I'm sorry, I just haven't really been in the mood lately."

"It's been 10 years, Liara. 10 fucking years! I'm a goddamn human and humans have urges!"

"I know! It's just... I don't know."

"How about tonight then?"

"No, Shepard, I'm sorry. Not tonight."

Shepard sighed. "Okay. I need to go back to work, I guess."

"Bye," Liara kissed her briefly on the lips.

...

"Unnnghh, Shepard!" Aria moaned.

"Agghhh fuuck!" Shepard continued to ram Aria with her veined monster. Unlike Liara, Aria was more than happy to spread her legs for her.

"Goddess, you're so fucking big, Shepard!"

"I'm coming!" Shepard began to pull out but Aria's legs kept her in place as she destroyed her insides with her human sperm. She fell down next to her and lay her head on the soft pillow.

"That was great," Aria purred. She nuzzled into her hair and Shepard wrapped an arm around her lover, bringing her close.

"Yeah, I agree."

"So, how's Liara?"

"Why do you always ask about her whenever we get together?"

"Just curious."

"Well, she found out I cheated on her with that Williams girl. But goddamn, we haven't had sex in 10 years! What the fuck does she expect? To masturbate all day, er'ryday?"

Aria chuckled. "That's why you have me. And the others."

"Damn right! At least you girls can show me a whole and let me go to fucking town!"

"Mmmm," Aria grabbed Shepard's flaccid meat. "I can't help but worship this thing."

"Aria T'Loak, worshiping my cock. Now that is truly an accomplishment."

"I only go for the best."

* * *

Ossaidra walked through the hallways of her university, looking for her friend Yelena. She found her in the music room storing away her french horn. Well son of a bitch.

"Yelena!"

"'Sup, Ossai-"

Ossaidra slapped her hard across the face.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You've been having sex with my fucking father, you whore!"

Yelena laughed. "Psshhh, can you blame me? I get to have that monstrous organ inside of me _and _get an A in the class? That's a pretty damn good deal if you ask me."

Ossaidra could not believe her. She sent a biotic charged fist straight to her gut. "Fuck you!" Yelena fell on the floor clutching her stomach.

...

"Kim Kardashian, please report to the office."

"Oh fuck."


	17. 3rd Street Saints

_"Shepard, we will castrate you!" a large, tall doctor held a butcher knife in his hand and tried to grab her._

_"Noooooo!" Shepard cried. She desperately tried to run away, but suddenly she saw Liara jump out from nowhere and she held her in place. For some reason, Shepard was naked._

_"HAHAHAHA!"_

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY BALLS!"_

"Ahhhh!" Shepard screamed. She woke up all sweaty and her heart was pounding. It was dark except for the moon that shone through the window, which illuminated Aria T'Loak, who was sleeping softly and quietly.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Shepard rubbed her eyes. Everything seemed normal. She reached under the blanket and searched for her balls. '_Baby makers still here'_, she thought. She lay back down and held Aria even closer, drifting back to sleep.

* * *

"You okay?" Aria asked. She handed Shepard a plate full of breakfast, bacon and motherfucking eggs.

"Yeah, just had a nightmare." She dug into her meal.

"About...?"

"I got castrated."

"Well, I could understand that you would... feel that way." Aria started to eat her own breakfast.

"Hey, how would you feel if someone removed your ovaries?"

"Shepard, I don't have ovaries."

"Oh right... well what if someone took out your brain?"

"I wouldn't be hurt, because I would be dead."

"Well... you know what, forget I said anything."

"...Random question, but what does 'cut' and 'uncut' mean for humans?"

"Err... cut means circumcised and uncut means uncircumcised. If you're circumcised then the foreskin of your penis has been cut off."

"Why in the hell would anyone do that?"

"I don't fucking know."

"Well, then I'm glad you're 'uncut', then."

"I am too. So.. can I tell you something?"

"Tell me what?"

"I've never told anyone about this... secret of mine."

"Well, out with it, then."

"Alright... about 105 years ago... I uhh... raped someone."

Aria was speechless. "You what?"

"I RAPED someone."

"Why?"

"It um... was always a fetish of mine. You know how dominating I could be in bed... well rape was the ultimate domination and I... acted upon my desires. And I feel terrible for it."

"So then who? Who did you rape?"

"Samantha Traynor."

Aria nearly choked on her motherfucking eggs. "No fucking way?"

"I didn't even know who she was at the time. But uh, yeah. I raped her."

"So is that why she slept with Liara out of the blue?"

"I guess. She got what was coming, though."

"True," she sipped her coffee. "So what was it like? To rape someone?"

"Like having all the power in the world. To violate someone and be in complete control... it was euphoric. The fear just made it all the better."

* * *

Ossaidra played the drums like a motherfucking master. The fact that she furious right now was reflected in the way she beat the drums; like a goddessdamned animal.

_That bitch! I can't believe she would say something like that!_

She decided to go outside and get some fresh air. As she was walking along the sidewalk, something leaped out at her and before she knew it, she was in a some sort of bag.

...

Ossaidra tumbled out the bag. She scanned her surroundings... there were a myriad of people, most of whom were human and asari... some drell. She was also in some sort of large, indoor stadium

"Where the hell am I?"

"Welcome sister. This is our headquarters," a human male said.

"'Sister?' Oh fuck no. PLEASE don't tell me-"

"Yes! We are also Shepard's children!"

"HUZZAH!" they people in the room cried.

"Why am I here?" Ossaidra asked, getting up.

"We are here to initiate you into the group, of course!"

"'Group?'"

"Yes! We, as Shepard's progeny, are a secret society that preserves her family name and honor!"

"That makes no goddess-damned sense."

"Well, you don't have to join if you don't want."

"Can you tell me more about this secret society?"

"Of course. This secret society, known as the Galactic Brother and Sisterhood, was started over a century ago by Shepard's true firstborn, Niccolo Gagarin Shepard. We continue the legacy of Commander Shepard by doing good deeds and rescuing those in need! We hold secret meetings every month and always take in new members.

"How often do you get new members?"

"About two every week."

"And you guys are all children of Shepard?"

"Yes. Some of us are grandchildren, too."

_Damn, our dad is a horny motherfucker. _"Well, thanks, but no thanks. Can one of you take me home?"

"Of course."

* * *

"Can I ask you something dad?" Ossaidra took a bite out of her sandwich.

Shepard sipped her coffee. "What is it?"

"What did you do before the military?"

"Ahh, good question, Ossi."

"You were in the Tenth Street Reds, right?"

"FUCK NO! I was in the Third Street Saints, sweetheart."

"Which was?"

"The gang I was in. We did a lot of... crazy shit."

"Like?"

"I think it's best you don't know. But damn, I had some good fucking times back then. I was the leader of the Saints, of course, but of course I had my team back then, before the whole Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Liara, crew. There was Shaundi, Pierce, Johnny Gat, Oleg, and... what was her name? Oh yeah, Kenzie. Those were the good times... Fuckin' loved Oleg. And Shaundi, well... let's just say I may have loved her a little more."

"Well, that was interesting."


	18. Absolut

"Hey, Shepard," Aria walked into the house.

"Aria," Shepard held out a few bottles of alcohol.

"Vodka? I want to get drunk but not that drunk, Shepard."

"Perhaps I'm just being a stereotypical Russian, but I fucking love vodka." She opened it and drank it straight from the bottle. Zyr.

"I don't know about these human subcultures, but there seems to be some ongoing thing with 'Russians' and alcohol. Why, exactly?"

Shepard chuckled. "Try living in eastern Russia for a few months."

Aria raised an eyebrow.

"It's because it's cold and it sucks. Vodka, however, helps a lot." She took a few more swigs. Shepard soon found herself becoming more and more inebriated. Aria grabbed the bottle.

"I think you've had enough of this." Shepard took the vodka back.

"Come on, it's not like I haven't drunk this before," she took another gulp, "I've had a CENTURIES' worth of experience." Shepard unzipped her pants and took out her throbbing cock. "Иди на хуй."

"What?"

"Go to the dick (though this would usually mean 'fuck you')!" Shepard grabbed the back of her head and forced her cock into her mouth.

"Mmmmphh!" Aria muffled.

"Ёбанный в рот!" Shepard exclaimed. She fucked her face as Aria tried to accommodate her large girth. "What? Not like you haven't done this before."

Aria rolled her eyes. Shepard removed herself and turned Aria around, bending her over the couch and quickly burying her dick inside of her azure, eliciting a grunt from the Asari. _Goddess, you're a fucking animal sometimes._

After a while, Shepard came inside of her. She didn't last very long. As Shepard pulled herself out, she was met with resistance. Her vagina seemed to be clamping rather tightly around her penis. She pulled harder, only to be met with pain. For some reason couldn't disconnect herself from Aria.

"Ummm..."

"What?"

"There's a _slight _problem."

"Which is...?"

"I'm stuck."

Aria sighed. "Well, then pull out, then!"

"You think I haven't tried?!"

"Try again!"

This time, Shepard placed a hand on Aria's ass for leverage. She pulled her hips back but still couldn't get her dick free. "Yeah, I'm definitely stuck. And Liara's coming home in about five minutes."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"

"Shall I get the butter?"

"Butter?"

"Well what else am I going to use?"

"Don't you have lube or something?"

"Er... no."

"We're fucked."

"Maybe not! Let me get the butter!" Shepard turned around to the kitchen, bring Aria with her, almost losing her balance.

"Be more careful, dammit!"

"Alright, just... let me..." Shepard walked slowly, Aria standing up straight and walking with her. Finally, they reached the fridge. Shepard took out a stick of butter, microwaved it, and applied some at the point where they were joined. Although it made it slightly more slippery, she was only able to pull out a few inches.

"Well?!"

"I'm still stuck."

"Well, fuck me!"

"Again?"

Aria growled. "Don't start."

"Right."

"Maybe you should wait until you're no longer hard."

"Liara's coming home in 2 minutes!"

"Well, fucking try, dammit!"

"Okay, okay," Shepard took a deep breath. _Alright, think unsexy, think unsexy. Grandma... yeah that's unsexy. Grandma... baking those moist, delicious cookies... okay okay, scratch that. Um... ooh, high school exams! Yeah... Those sucked! Mmm.. suck.. Oh yeah, I fucking raped those exams hard... oh god dammit fuck! Alright... Oh, I know! Uh... what was that song... ah yes... 'You know you love me, I know you care, just shout whenever, and I'll be there, you are my love, you are my heart, and we will never ever ever be apart...'_ Shepard felt the blood deplete from her cock. _Yes! It's working! Now... just think of Justin Bieber's face... Ughh god no... now think One Direction... Ugh, sweet holy mary mother of satan. Yes! _Shepard finally pulled the rest of her length out. Aria let out a sigh of relief.

"What now?"

"HIDE!" Shepard carried Aria bridal style, and while Aria protested, threw her into a cabinet.

"Shepard?" Liara called.


	19. Oops

"Liara! Heyyyyyy..." Shepard had her back to the closed cabinet.

"Shepard? Um, where are your clothes?" Liara glanced down at her softening member.

"Oh that? I um... wanted to treat you of course! You know, just something you may have wanted to see when you came home. A gift, or something."

"Shepard, what did I say about giving me your penis as a gift?" Liara asked. "Very funny, Shepard." She walked over and got down on her knees, then began stroking her glistening, wet member.

"Oh, Liara, I'm not sure that's such a good idea..." Shepard's penis wasn't responding to her ministrations.

"Weird..." Liara took her dick into her mouth and sucked on it briefly. She then removed her lips. "This is the first time you DIDN'T get hard..."

"Yeah, just not in the mood, I guess."

Liara chuckled. "You were complaining that we weren't having enough sex and now YOU'RE not in the mood?"

"Ha, maybe tonight, then? Just not right now I should probably get dressed and... stuff."

Liara stood back up. "Well, alright. I'm going to go check on the baby."

"Yeah, okay. Okay. I'll go put on my underwear and... yeah." When Liara was out of sight, Shepard opened the cabinet and Aria dashed out, hurriedly leaving the house ass naked. _Well, that was a bad case of penis captivus gone wrong. Maybe I should use more lube next_ time.

* * *

"So what did we learn class?" Shepard asked.

All of the 20-something year olds in the class all said in unision: "That if there's nobody around, you can say the N-word."

"Excellent. Dismissed. Don't forget to keep practicing Stasis. Except for you, Miss Isinbayeva. I'd like a word with you once everyone is out." Ossaidra gave Yelena the stink eye and left the classroom, Yelena walking as slutty as she possibly can to Shepard.

"Yes, Commander?"

"You did very well today, Miss Isinbayeva," Shepard grabbed her waist and pulled her onto her lap. She whispered into her ear, "Yet you still have much to learn." Yelena gasped as Shepard began biting her ear and started to grind against her hardening cock. Shepard eased her thong from her skirt, and took out her penis from her pants.

"C-Commander," Yelena breathed.

"Shh." It slid in with ease.

...

"Commander?"

"Yes?" Shepard said. She sipped some of her iced tea.

"I need to tell you something."

"Well, out with it then."

"I, well... I'm pregnant."

Shepard spit out all of her tea. "What?"

"I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive," Yelena started to tear up. "I can't abort it. My parents are going to kill me."

Surely this wasn't the first time Shepard had knocked up one of her students. Though... that didn't make this any easier. "Well, uh... What do you want me to do?"

"For you to help me take care of it!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I already have kids of my own, sweetheart. One of them is your friend."

"She's not my friend anymore."

"Well, fuck then. What did you tell your boyfriend?"

"I told him it was his. I just don't know what to do," she lay her head on Shepard's shoulder.

"Wait, how do you know it's mine? It could be his, right?"

"No, it isn't. I checked it out with the doctor."

_Since when can you do that? _"Alright. But... I can't be there for the baby, understand that."

"But I-okay. See you, Commander."

* * *

Shepard looked at her penis. She was sitting on the bed, naked, and she felt like examining the thing between her legs that had granted many women pleasure, occasionally pain, and of course children. It wasn't hard... Shepard grabbed the uncut beauty. It was soft and limp, one of the few moments it ever was. Liara wasn't home right now... not that it mattered, she was still reluctant to give her snu-snu. Shepard began running her hand up and down the penis, feeling some blood rushing to it, engorging it so that it became harder, longer, thicker. She went faster, until it became rock hard and wouldn't expand any more. A good eight and a half inches, not bad. Shepard knew for a long time that women were not supposed to have these. She was a bit curious when she was a child, why her dad always seemed to call her a 'he' instead of a she. When she was a teenager, she'd occasionally pop a boner in the middle of class and her classmates would laugh at her, calling her names like 'half-man' or 'dick-girl.' Funny, though, because she had ended up screwing many of them in the locker room, and the girls would always comment on how big she was. Any man would pride himself on that, so of course she did, too. It was strange, though. Why was she born this way? She had no vagina, and yet she grew up female with breasts. Strange...

Shepard hadn't realised it, but she had been masturbating the entire time she was thinking about this. Her seed spewed out of her dick like a fountain, some of it reaching all the way to the ceiling. She always did shoot pretty far. Some landed on her stomach, though most of her sperm ended up on the bed. Shepard got up to clean it, and when she was done, she lay back down on the bed. She loved her penis. She didn't consider it unnatural, considering it was part of her body. Women loved her penis, too. She didn't bother with men... she would never engage herself in that sort of faggotry. But it was great being a woman with this thing. The tits were a bonus. And of course, peeing standing up was always an advantage. And who needs that 'period' shit?


	20. Ossaidra almost gets lucky

Ossaidra ran her fingers along her head fringe. She was determined to ask this girl out, who has been her friend for a while now. They were at her house, eating. She was never really good with the ladies, guys were a different story, but right now she tried to forget about all that and act as smooth as a baby's bottom. Oh wait... no. Nevermind.

"H-hey," she said.

"Yeah?" the human responded. She was pale, like Shepard, had brown hair, and wore no makeup. She looked pretty damn good.

"Uh, yeah, Jennifer, I was wondering if... if..."

"If...?"

"Nevermind." She resumed eating her apple.

"Well, okay then."

* * *

"Dad?"

"Yes, sweetie?" Shepard was feeding there German Shepherd, Bolshoye.

"Um, I've been wondering... how does one get the ladies?"

Shepard laughed softly. "You want to learn from the best?"

"I guess, yeah." Bolshoye nipped at Ossaidra's bare feet.

"Well, let's go outside, then." The two left the house, and headed to a nearby bar.

"Dad, I don't want to sleep with some whore." Ossaidra crossed her arms.

"Relax, Ossi, this is just practice. Now watch and learn." Shepard walked over to a sober looking girl, an asari, said a few words to her, and seconds later got her number.

"See?"

"How?"

"Confidence is very important. Don't be afraid of rejection. Flirt a little, not too much, or you'll come off as a creep. Then ask her out or just bring her to some motel, if you want to keep things casual."

"Thanks, then. I'll try that. You just make it look so easy, though."

"Everyone wants Commander Shepard's dick."

"That's more than I needed to know."

"It's true tho."

* * *

Liara walked to the supermarket. She didn't feel like taking the skycar, she had been rather lazy lately. Oddly, there seemed to be a lot of pregnant women around. Mostly asari and human. Strange. Was it mating season or...?

Liara saw Shepard walking out of the local brothel. She had smug, satisfied look on her face, her zipper undone and her hair all messed up and shit.

"SHEPARD!" Liara shouted.

"Oh fuck."

She ran up to her. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?"

"Look, Liara..."

"DON'T 'LOOK LIARA' ME!" She raised her hand and was about to slap her face, but Shepard quickly caught it and held a firm hold on her wrist.

"Don't you fucking try," Shepard said angrily. "You brought this upon yourself. How long do you think I'll last without sex from you? It's been ten, fucking years." She tightened her grip on her. Liara whimpered in pain.

"You're hurting me."

She constricted her wrist even more. "You looked just about ready to hurt me a while ago."

"Stop, please."

"Why?"

"Shepard," she pleaded. "I'm sorry, okay?"

Shepard released her. Liara rubbed it, trying to ease the pain. Shepard's face softened. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get angry at you like that."

"You're known to have homicidal tendencies. I somewhat understand."

"Yeah, well... sorry anyway. It's just that we haven't really been physically close in a long time. It's difficult, you know?"

"I... I know. I always forget that humans have a shorter lifespan, so the urge to mate is stronger than that of an asari. I expected too much from you."

"It's hard not being able to sleep with my own wife. Tonight, then?"

"Not tonight, I'm not in the mood."

_ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! SON OF A BITCH ASS CUNT MOTHERFUCKING TURD TWAT WHORE SHIT PISS FART! _"Alright."

* * *

"You always were one to come on my tits, Shepard."

"Well where do you want me to come then, Aria?"

"Coming in my mouth would save from having to clean up the mess."

"I'll make a note of that." Shepard lay beside her in the warm bed. She kissed Aria on her cheek. "God, I love you."

"Me, too. Have you... ever thought of divorcing Liara?"

"Sometimes. Why?"

"Well, you haven't really been close with her lately."

Shepard frowned. "I still love her, she just doesn't want to have sex. I can take care of my urges with other people. Doesn't mean I don't care for her."

Aria sighed. "Do you love me?"

"Of course I do."

"This affair has lasted for more than a century, Shepard. I'm not too sure things between you and Liara will last."

"Are you saying I should end everything between us, then?"

"There isn't much you two have left."

"How about a family? A house? A business? We did all those things together. How can I just throw those away?"

"Forget I said anything, then." Aria turned her back to her. Shepard faced the opposite way as well and fell asleep.


	21. Really?

"I don't fucking understand you, Liara."

"Well, sorry if you don't then."

"Why won't you put out, goddammit?!"

"I said I'M NOT IN THE MOOD SHEPARD!" Liara hugged her knees, sitting on the couch. Shepard was on the other couch, trying to persuade her.

"You haven't been in the mood for a pretty long time."

"Is that the only reason you loved me then? Because I showed you a good time?"

"No, but sexual intimacy is pretty fucking important, and when that isn't there, you shouldn't have been surprised seeing me at the brothel."

"Don't speak of that disgusting place."

"Then maybe I should visit it."

"Don't you dare!"

Shepard sighed and stood up. "I'm going out."

"SHEPARD!"

"I'm not going to the brothel, okay? I'm just going to walk around, clear my mind and try to relax."

Liara narrowed her eyes angrily and glared at her. "Be home in one hour."

* * *

"I just don't get her!" Shepard shouted. Aria sat in the armchair, calmly drinking a glass of water. "Maybe you're right. We clearly aren't in love anymore."

"See? That's what I was talking about. You two have no connection, the passion is lost, and of course there's the fact she won't even have sex with you."

"We've been arguing for a while now. I feel bad for the kids."

Aria stood up and embraced Shepard. "я даю тебе слово, я отдаю тебе свое сердце. (I will give you my word I give you my heart)"

Shepard's eyes widened. "Правда? (Really?)"

"да (Yes)," she purred.

"When did you learn Russian?"

"Studied it. Just for you."

"I think it's time we make things official."

"And Liara?"

"She'll have to make do without me."

* * *

"You're late, Shepard," Liara said, sitting on an armchair and with an extremely pissed off expression on her face.

Shepard glared at her. "Well you know why? That's because I was busy getting my dick wet with Aria T'Loak."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me." Shepard went into the kitchen and poured herself some whiskey. Liara had gotten up and tried to pry the alcohol away from her hands, but Shepard shoved her down to the floor. "Don't fucking touch me."

She got up, tears streaming down her face. "You can't just do this to me! What about your kids?"

"This isn't about them!" Shepard shouted. She pointed an angry finger at her. "This is about you." She continued drinking her glass. "I'm leaving you."

Liara's eyes widened. "W-why?"

"Found someone else. Someone better."

"Aria?"

"Yeah. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with her. In this house."

"You can't just take the house-"

"I paid for it, didn't I?"

"Shepard, this is absurd!"

"Don't care. Just get the hell out of my house and take the kids with you."

Liara became desperate. More tears fell down her face. "What will your daughters think of you? That you left us for some skank?"

Shepard grabbed her neck. "Don't fucking call her that," she growled. She released her grip on Liara and let her gasp for breath. "I'm sick of you."


	22. Hold my earrings

"Mommy, why do we have to stay here?" Lydia asked.

"Well... daddy took the house so, we don't have a place to live," Liara replied.

"When is daddy coming back? I miss her," said Fera.

Liara sighed. Ossaidra stood at the doorway to the hall. She was seething.

"I can't believe dad just left us for some... for some..." she shouted and punched the wall. "I never want to speak with her again." She stormed off into her room and slammed the door. Liara's four daughters were somewhat less in distress, as they didn't particularly understand the situation all too well. Liara could hardly believe how Shepard just suddenly left them to live with her mistress in _their _house. Liara had a feeling this had more to do with Aria than Shepard herself. And now Liara and the kids live in this apartment in the city, where it could be difficult to fall asleep because of all the noise outside. Shepard seemed to not want to have anything to do with her daughters; strange, she always got along with them and cared for them just as much as she did.

Interesting...

* * *

Shepard found Aria in the kitchen. She was resting her elbows on the counter and seemed to be thinking about something. Shepard walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, then kissed the back of her neck.

"Morning," she said.

"Morning, Shepard."

"There something wrong?"

"I'm pregnant."

Shepard froze for a second. "Again?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's great," she resumed kissing her neck and turned her around to kiss her soft lips. "Я тебя люблю." (I love you)

"Я тоже тебя люблю." (I love you, too)

* * *

Liara pushed her shopping cart to the meat section. Just... something about the meat section that reminded her of Shepard...

She grabbed the largest sausage and put it in her cart.

She pushed along, then accidentally bumped into someone else's. "Aria."

"T'Soni," she grinned mockingly. "So how's it been living in a rusty, old apartment with your five brats to take care of? All by yourself..."

"Leave me alone."

"You already are alone."

"I only lost one person, and that's Shepard. I still have my daughters. Unlike you."

"Stupid maiden. You should've known better than to leave your bondmate unsatisfied."

Liara's biotics flared.

"You should know better than to challenge a matriarch, T'Soni."

"Then stay away from me."

"I don't have time for you, anyway. Pureblood."

"OH HELL NAW OSSAIDRA HOLD MY EARRINGS." Ossaidra took the large bangles.

"WELL BITCH LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING DOWN." Aria began removing all the rings on her fingers.

Overhead, Shepard noticed them. She ran. "Ladies, ladies, ladies!"

"WHAT?!" they both exclaimed.

"Calm down, please. We don't want anyone to die today, do we?"

Aria spoke first. "Hmmph, you're bitchy ex-wife couldn't keep her mouth shut."

"Me?! You're the one that called me a pureblood!"

Shepard sighed. "Apologize, Aria." Aria grunted and Liara gave her the stink eye.

"Sorry."

"Good," Shepard said. "Sorry, Liara."

"I can't believe you left me for her."


End file.
